Calendar Frustration

I am moving to all Mac computers. I find that iCal is great.

I still need to sync with various other calendars. I can export an ics file to update my other Macs and Google and my legacy Outlook machines. I can use outlook to sync my phone. [bother! Macs have a sync application, but it does not recognize my phone model.]

Yahoo! however requires a csv file. They are the only ones in creation. Would you believe there is no way to translate an ics to a csv!!! Proprietary systems are a real pain.

I guess I will try to export Outlook to csv.

The power of powerful questions

From a Jeff Meyers Newsletter:
Jeff Myers, Ph.D., President
Passing the Baton International, Inc.

A few weeks ago I spoke at the Texas State Homeschool Conference on "Winning the hearts of your children without losing your mind." I looked at my watch and realized I had 15 minutes of material but only five minutes left to present (imagine that!).

I told the audience, "We're just about out of time, but if you'll look at your notes I'd like to briefly look at some powerful questions you can ask to coach your children into being thinking leaders rather than passive followers."

I went through the questions so quickly I wasn't at all sure they would be helpful. Yet an hour and a half later one of the attendees told me, "I just coached my six-year old son."

"Really?" I said, stunned.

"Yes. I'm thinking about homeschooling him, and I brought him to the children's program. But he cried and didn't want to go. Instead of forcing him, I just sat next to him and calmly asked the questions from your notes."

"What happened?" I asked.

"It was amazing," she said. "After just a few of the questions he stopped crying, analyzed the source of his fears and came up with a resourceful solution."

What did this mother do differently?

In talking with this mother, I realized that she had used a simple set of powerful questions to approach a difficult situation in an attitude of compassion and curiosity. The actual conversation was quite simple:

"What is going on?"

"I'm afraid to go to the children's program."

"Why do you think you're afraid?"

"Because I don't know anyone there."

"What would you like to see happen?"

"Well, I do have a friend in there but he was assigned to a different class than me."

"What are some things you think you could do?"

"I could ask the people if they would let me be in my friend's class. Then I wouldn't be alone."

"What if they are not able to do that?"
"Then I guess I will try to be brave and have a good time."

This mother just asked questions, listened and helped her little boy solve his own problem. No manipulation. No bribing. Just successful coaching.

How successful coaches do what they do

Coaches succeed in helping people get breakthroughs by cultivating three skills:

1. Coaches learn to listen. Ninety percent of communication is listening, yet most people admit that they're not good at it (and studies show that their colleagues and friends think they're actually worse than they know).

Failing to listen means that you miss 90% of the information you need to relate to others. Imagine cashing your paycheck and throwing 90% of the money away. That is essentially what poor listeners do everyday.

2. Coaches ask powerful questions. Bad questions cause irritation and defensiveness. Good questions stimulate thought and lead to breakthroughs. Studying the art of question-asking leads to clarity and trust.

Coaches practice asking powerful, open-ended questions that enable them to walk alongside people as those people take responsibility for their own leadership development.

3. Coaches help people set worthy goals. Most people have some idea of WHAT they are doing but almost no idea WHY. Goal-setting is a life-transforming skill that can be learned in just a few hours.

If you're a leader, helping others set goals reinforces your credibility and encourages them toward more God-centered, purposeful lives.